Tick. Tick. Tick.

It feels like there’s a bomb inside of me.

The foster kiddos who are recently staying with my family are leaving us in less than a week.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

I can’t stand waiting for them to leave. Knowing when they’re leaving only makes things worse. Time is quickly slipping away.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

I don’t want them to leave. But then I feel guilty because they’re going to go live with some of their relatives. I’ve heard them talk on the phone with their relatives. They sounded excited and committed to having them.

But I still don’t want them to leave.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The “bomb” inside of me keeps ticking as time passes. As the “bomb” keeps ticking, something inside of me keeps building up… or breaking down. It’s like an old wall that keeps crumbling away until one day, it collapses entirely.

To be continued…


Stay sweet, Ella.


5 thoughts on “Leaving”

  1. This is one of the hardest things about fostering isn’t it? Sometimes we have to say a prayer, commit the kiddos to God and pray for their happiness and stability….. Blessings on you young lady!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That is so tough. I am a child of foster parents and have grieved foster children leaving too. Like you said, it feels like time is slipping away too quickly. Anticipating foster siblings leaving is hard even when you know they are moving to another good place.

    I have found that writing has helped me (maybe you have found that too.) Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Keep writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am a social worker for a foster agency. We have many foster families with children who foster children. The grief that child feels after the foster child leaves is so hard and it’s hard for me to console them. Is there a child’s book that would help a child say goodbye or understand why their foster sibling is leaving?


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